What It Is: What's The Deal With Bathrooms?

What’s the deal with bathrooms really? They’re a weird kind of hybrid private public room. We go in there to be incredibly vulnerable, and eliminate our bodily waste. We hide ourselves from sight, but sounds are amplified and highlighted by the hard, non-porous surfaces that allow for effective cleaning of these perpetually putrefied places. If you think about it in the simplest terms the bathroom is a rather disorienting place. It tells us to be supremely private, but our privacy is necessarily violated by the nature of being in a public space. Perhaps that is why people have been worked into such a fervor over who can or can’t be in a bathroom?

Bathrooms are pretty psychotic places. The lighting, the acoustics, the smells, they’re all cues that tell your mind and body to not stay long. Bathrooms are disorienting for our senses, but they’re further disorienting for our psyche. We are at our most vulnerable when we’re pooping and peeing. If you wanted to kill someone the only easier time would be when they’re sleeping. So, when we go to a public bathroom to poop or pee we are kind of scared for good reason, ad we go into a kind of heightened alert.

Of course, some of us are less scared than other. Personally, I know for sure that I don’t die in any kind of bathroom public or private. So, when I go to the bathroom I’m not afraid. I try to make the best of it, and recall times when I ate LSD or mushrooms and hallucinated. The disorienting sensory phenomena of a bathroom are not far off from hallucinogens, so it’s not much of a stretch of the mind. I also don’t have any qualms about using a women’s restroom. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again if I’m in need. There’s no shame in men and women pooping and peeing into the same porcelain rimmed holes in the ground.  

Honestly though, I gotta say it’s pretty crazy that people are tripping about who can and can’t go into different public restrooms. If people are worried about getting sexualized in a restroom then they should do some personal work to determine where those fears are coming from. Because the only people thinking about using a public bathroom for something other than taking a slightly psychotic piss or shit, are actual psychotic people. The fears of psychotic people are not a suitable metric for the edifciation of society’s values. Those who pre-emptively cry “VICTIM” in order to single out a group of “others” are the only individuals thinking of these perverse acts. It’s really tough to find any evidence of trans people committing sex crimes anywhere, let alone in public bathrooms. I haven’t seen any explicit evidence that points to a single incident, let alone a trend that warrants legislative action.

Maybe it is time we change bathrooms? Maybe all bathrooms should just be unisex, and our nation should start maturing a bit? We all shit. We all piss. We all puke, and do all kinds of stuff that we don’t want other people to know about. Maybe instead of living as if we need to hide all of this, it’s time we start accepting our complete human selves and create identities that are more robust (and tolerant)? We don’t have to walk around with poop diaries hanging off of our necks, but we would probably all benefit from discarding the psychotic stigmas we associate with our bodies’ natural processes.